The Dirty Northwest

With the film version of Sweeney Todd set to hit theaters this month, what hip and lesser known only-good-musical-out-there name can I drop to impress people at cocktail parties? Everyone is going to know Todd now.

Philippe Katerine Louxor J’Adore(via)

“My sister and I insist upon 600 thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets to wear to tonight’s cross burning.”

We know that sex sells, so it should come as no surprise that pedophilia and incest in particular are GREAT sales aids for racism.

There must be some kind of demographic crossover. You know – like the old commercials for knockoff colognes? “If you like 13 year-old girls, you’ll LOVE racism!”

Specifically, they are wonderful marketing techniques for Prussian Blue, a musical duo of otherwise cute 13 year-old girls who sing songs of white nationalism with such rousing lyrics as: (link intentionally omitted)

I see you all around me.
I see the apathy in your eyes,
knowing not what it means to be free,
watching as the White flame dies.

They are the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen of the neo-Nazi set, sporting the latest in hate-chic fashions and targeting young listeners:

“Eleven and 12 years old,” [a supporter] said, “I think that’s the perfect age to start grooming kids and instill in them a strong racial identity.”

I will admit that this is a great age for brainwashing. In fact, (and here I feel I must include the strongest sincerity tag I know: “and-I-shit-you-not”) as my parents naively sat through subtly demeaning sermons on the Sunday mornings of my youth, as an eleven and twelve year old I learned in Sunday school such factoids as:

- Shampoo with “animal proteins” listed in the ingredients contains aborted babies
- G-strings were invented by devil worshipers in Indonesia and each one on the market has been blessed by a shaman
- Evolution is the basis of evil as it denies a need for a creator. If only the scientific community could see past its own selfishness and admit the facts of creation, souls would be saved!

The thing is, that all seemed like a load of bullshit to me (except for that last one — I hung on to that till I was 20 and took a geology class), even at such an impressionable age. So in the case of Prussian Blue I’m waffling between “those poor girls” and “let’s see how long they’d last a dark alley with En Vogue.”

My own personal baggage aside, it is heartwarming to see that the brainwashed mini-Nazi want to help others: (ABC)

Like many children across the country, Lamb and Lynx decided to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina — the white ones.

Unfortunately for our little sweeties, most of the victims gave them the proverbial finger, so their supplies were “dumped at a local shop that sells Confederate memorabilia.”

And now, for the dreaded local tie in: They’re coming. Here:

…[mother] April had decided that Bakersfield [CA] was not “white” enough, so she sold her home, and hopes that she and the girls can find an all-white community in the Pacific Northwest.

Well that’s just super. I’m sure there are some fundamentalist Mormon sects in the Idaho panhandle who would be thrilled to add a few young wives to their gene pool. No offense to my Idaho friends, but your state is already quite red – we don’t need any more GOP votes moving to Oregon and Washington.

Rumors at places like Pocket-lint.co.uk suggest Apple will be launching an iTunes phone next week.

My Treo already has a 1 gig flash card slot and RealPlayer, though due to the poor audio out interface I haven’t used it yet, myself.

If Apple is doing it, you know it’ll be cool and will inspire others to follow suit.

My only request: programmable hold music.

Apple is planning a video playing iPod, according to WSJ via MarketWatch.

However, this is reportedly merely a music video playing device. Probably because memory is still expensive enough that caching your favorite 1000 movies in your pocket is financially difficult.

But what about an iPod that carries movies? Is that something the market would bare? Would I really ever want to a hundred hours of movies at my finger tips, the way I do with my hundred hours of songs?

Maybe funny jpegs or ifilm-level content to share with friends at a bar or party, but personally I don’t see a need to call up War of the Roses or Star Trek V at a moments notice. Then again, I wasn’t the first in line for an iPod to begin with, so I’m asking the wrong guy. What about you?

Roger Waters came back to Pink Floyd with little time to spare: via Core77 and Slashdot comes the robotic guitar:

Here’s a cool way to surf through artists that you like and find others that you may enjoy.

Type in the name of a musical group and, as the site explains:

The closer two artists are, the greater the probability people will like both artists.

So if you are in to down-beat and like Thievery Corporation you can see what other fans like and may learn about someone new.

All the bands are hyperlinks to become the center of focus.

As a fan released celebratory doves into the air, the jury forewoman read the not-guilty verdict live on the air and over the Internet.

Charged with a number of offenses, the jury found Michael Jackson not guilty on all counts, including improper contact and serving alcohol to a minor.

So, to all you parents out there whose kids are clamouring to have a sleepover at the Netherparts Neverland Ranch where they can jump on the bed and drink Jesus juice, by all means — go right ahead. Jacko couldn’t possibly do anything to make your kid any more effed-up.

Proving their odd taste extends beyond following the U.S. into ill-advised wars, the number one single in the U.K. is based on a ring tone:

A song inspired by a mobile phone ring tone has topped the UK music charts, beating Coldplay’s Speed of Sound to the top slot.

‘Crazy Frog Axel F’, a track based on the sound of a man imitating the revving of a Swedish moped, has become the highest-grossing single in a list released by The Official UK Charts Company. This is the first time that a mobile phone ring tone has gained such popularity on the mainstream charts, said Gennaro Castaldo of HMV.

Mixed with Axel F, the Beverly Hills Cop theme, a sample can be heard here.

It’s a beautiful day here in P-town and I want to make a summertime music mix for the iPod.

Obviously, DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince’s Summertime will make the cut. Definitely some Bob Marley will have to be on there.

I’m thinking maybe some Eagles or Bryan Adams Summer of ‘69… I need some ideas.

Throw me some suggestions in the comments, if you please.