The Dirty Northwest

As a horse owner, I was quite disappointed at the tragic finish of the Derby on Saturday. I posted over on Kos:

I feel betrayed and embarrassed to confess that I watched the Kentucky Derby today.For those unfamiliar, Eight Belles – Hillary Clinton’s pick – came in second and was euthanatized on the track immediately following the race. After breaking both front ankles (per early reports) the vets felt it was too painful an injury and recovery.The favorite, Big Brown, won the race and while I’ll personally fare well financially I’m left with an empty and disgusted feeling. “Are we not amused?”

It’s a bucket of cold water that we still prescribe to such classless, immature acts as forms of entertainment.

Horses are amazing – I own a thoroughbred by Distinctive Pro who was injured in the gate and is now happily doing dressage - watching them match speed in a track race (their drive to be Alpha is an instinctive propulsion to the front of the pack) is sheer thrill. But now I feel embarrassed and base. Like a citizen of Rome. Amused by suffering not my own.

I should know better. We all should.

As a follow up, here’s a piece at NYT on the tragedies we don’t see.

I know what it is: it’s the assholes that play it. Granted, some are my friends. But I have no desire to hang with that demographic vs. well, pretty much every other option I have for a sunny afternoon.

Got some terrific seats to the Blazer game last night as I took my brother to see them battle their current division rivals the Denver Nuggets. This was his Christmas gift so I splurged a bit and we were in row “C” which isn’t row 3, but somehow row 8(?). Nonetheless, it was a terrific view for a pro game as we could see the sweat on the players’ brows, the grimaces on their faces and the strain of their muscles. HD-reality.

We got our money’s worth as the game went into overtime, but alas our heroes failed to sink the winning shot and we fell to Allen Iverson who stepped up and really acted the part of the superstar, living up to his nickname, “The Answer”.

I must say, while I do appreciate sport, I don’t have much time for it on TV and don’t have occasion to go to Blazer games but maybe once a year. I do know enough to know the teams, the rules and who the All Stars are. It was an incredible “life lesson” to see a guy like Iverson — and you can read the linked article above for another take on this — nearly shrug-off a blanket of ennui as the game approached its end with the outcome uncertain. He took a keen interest in the outcome and became the dominate player on the court.

To be sure, I was rooting for the home team. But aside from a meaningless last-second-of-the-third-quarter half-court shot, Iverson’s stardom had seemed overrated until the game was on the line and he apprised the upstart Blazers as worthy of a portion of his evenings’ attention. With a thimbleful of his skill and effort he drown our hopes and carried the Nuggets to victory.

This, the day after a fraternally-charged Super Bowl gave me a nice sports buzz which I expect will carry me well until March Madness and/or The Derby in May.

Two big events for all you Tonya watchers:

First, a date has been set for her assault case. This time she’s the complainant, saying her boyfriend assaulted her after she threw him down on the gravel driveway, bit his finger and told him he’d had too much to drink.

Second, Tonya’s hired pipe swinger, Shane Stant, is still carrying not just the emotional trauma of their time together, but the record for it as well. He recently petitioned an Oregon judge to clear his assault conviction for attacking Nancy Kerrigan but the request was denied (mainly on the grounds that expunging assault convictions is illegal).

It seems Stant wants to become a Navy SEAL and it’s his criminal record that is preventing this.

“Why is David Stern hatin’ on disco?”

NBA players should be thrilled.

They are getting a message from the league office that they are valued as professionals who should be taken seriously. A professional, if lax, dress code has been handed to them but commissioner David Stern’s memo has turned into an imbroglio.

While the paternalism from the NBA front office may be a bit heavy-handed, the baggy street wear of some of the players is an anathema of couture. It is unflattering to the male figure and as the role-models-they-hate-to-be, the players were sending a message to all the young ‘un’s out there that slovenly sartorial sensibilities are acceptable ones. Note the number of badly dressed and be-jerseyed men the next time you visit an airport or suburban TGIFriday’s. They didn’t pick that up from Miles Davis or JFK (although he is still on thin ice in my book for his refusal to wear a hat to his inauguration – the first President to do so).

Some players have called the new rules racist. It’s not my place to say they’re wrong but while the new rules may be slightly anachronistic – and even firmly rooted in western culture – the dress code is positively masculine, in my opinion.

In particular, the ban on excessive jewelry is being tenuously linked via hip-hop as an anti-African American one.

I don’t buy that.

In my mind, a man in gold chains conjures up the swarms of car dealers at the NADA convention each year: big necklaces, diamond man-rings, bleached teeth, and chemical bagged blondes on their arms.

Gold chains are a bit too prevalent (unfortunately) to be endemic to one particular subsection of pop culture like hip-hop.

I like the way Miami Heat center Alonzo Mourning put it:

“If you look at that as racist then you don’t understand the corporate world,” he said Wednesday.
[…]
“Now if he would have said something about the way we wear our hair or what have you, that has some ethnic connections to it. But he’s telling us to appropriately dress in a way to where it reflects this particular corporation.”

And given that it’s the corporate group sales and season ticket holders who are the big customers of this particular corporation, it makes sense in my mind that the corporation’s rep’s dress like their clients.

NFL coaches have a dress code: they have to wear official NFL gear when on the sideline. No more Tom Landries with their smart jackets and authoritarian hats. Instead, they have elastic-waist bands or drawstrings and clothes with thousands of tiny holes, gauche, gaudy logos, and obnoxious colors and stripes.

NBA players are blessed. Not just by their skills, fame and money, but by a dress code that lets them express themselves in a masculine and professional fashion.

It’s already here, and I’m ain’t talking about no Thirsty Thursday diversion for beer quaffing sorority grads.

I’m talkin’ ’bout the Oregon State Beavers.

At 45-10, the Beavers are one win away from appearing in the College Baseball World Series. Monday they lost in the 10th with a bases loaded single by USC’s Bill Hart, forcing a game 3.

The winner goes to Omaha for the big dance. The Dirty Northwest wishes them well.

Do us proud.

The 4/3 issue of Washington Post has a lengthy but interesting article about the arrival of professional baseball in DC.

I would safely bet that many of the readers at TDNW already have a negative view of Major League Baseball (MLB) as an organization. It is made up of nothing but a group of money-grubbing, selfish, and oppressive group of millionaires. The commissioner is a pawn of the owners. And the organization has been less than forthcoming concerning all of the recent steroid allegations. Portland should be thankful it did not have to sell itself out to MLB.

If you are of a different opinion, wishing that Portland did get the former Montreal Expos, I encourage you to read this artcile. Baseball in DC has been a hot issue over the past few months, and personally, I think what MLB did to the city pretty much stinks. Not to mention the fact that VA Gov. Warner will probably face stiff opposition in his upcoming re-election campaign because he stood his ground against MLB and actually operated with the state’s best interests in mind.

But hey, we can all rejoice because now we at least have a pro baseball team in the area, right?

My favorite excerpts show the progression in the financing of the stadium:

“Baseball is very serious about a fully financed stadium,” Malek told Williams.

Major League Baseball said Virginia should consider permitting baseball or the Expos’ new owners to build the stadium using the tax revenue, a strategy that would let baseball pocket millions in leftover taxes once the building was paid off.

“When they finished, mouths were agape. The District would pay for the whole stadium, right down to the kitchen equipment for the concessionaire. “

“The meeting adjourned without a vote. That night, DuPuy boarded a plane for New York, then caught a train to Baltimore. Over the next few hours, he and Angelos reached a tentative agreement that would guarantee Angelos annual revenues of at least $130 million, as well as a sale price of $365 million if he decided to sell the Orioles.”

Williams, meanwhile, was struggling to push the stadium package through a suddenly reluctant D.C. Council. Angered by rising cost estimates, stadium opponents accused the mayor of giving away the store.

Here’s a real tear-jerker of a story. Roger Clemmens’ new Hummer was stolen from his son’s high school:

He began letting [his son] Koby Clemens drive the orange Hummer to school after [Koby] signed a letter of intent last November to play baseball for the University of Texas, whose colors are burnt orange and white. Before that, Koby drove a black Hummer to school.

I guess poor Koby will have to drive the black one again for now.

Keep your eyes open on eBay.

Because of a loophole in Florida law, Tonya Harding is set to “wrestle” a transvestite.

The disgraced Olympic figure skater-turned-beefy slugger will face skinny transvestite television personality Daisy D, best known locally for his “Queen on the Scene” antics on the South Florida gossip TV show “Deco Drive.”
…
“Daisy D never told me she was a he when we were talking on the phone,” groaned promoter Damon Feldman. “Well, it’s close enough. Tonya doesn’t mind too much.”

Because Daisy D has no previous experience, the Florida Deptartment of Business and Professional Regulation won’t allow a boxing match — but that department has no oversight over pro rasslin’.

Let’s get it on!

Fueling further speculation of humor enhancing drug use, The Onion hits another one out of the ballpark:

After a delay caused by Congressional Democrats, Condoleezza Rice will be confirmed as Secretary of State this week. What do you think?
[...]
“Twenty years ago, I never would’ve believed that we’d have a black, female Secretary of State, much less one who was a conservative warmonger, too. We’ve come a long way.”
Joy Mattingly
Designer

As for what I think? She’s gone to bat for her boss and proved herself loyal. That’s the surefire way up the ladder with Bushco. He has a firm pattern of rewarding loyalty and punishing disloyalty. So it’s to be expected. There are Democratic Senators that feel they need to conserve “political capital” for other issues. If you happen to be in this camp, I say spare Condi and let’s get A.G. nominee Alberto Gonzales.